-- Sunday, August 02, 2009

i twit more than i post now.


she went on and on and on and on at 3:03 am

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-- Friday, June 19, 2009

time to change. taa-dah!


she went on and on and on and on at 1:51 am

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-- Saturday, June 13, 2009

okay, i'm over it. it was just a weak moment i had. and now i'm back to myself again. happy days!

i guess what upsets me was that it was my first experience dealing with someone who doesn't believe that i could do it, despite my past working experiences where i've done much more and worst tasks before.

meh! your lost i guess.


she went on and on and on and on at 1:43 am

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-- Thursday, June 11, 2009

i have scoliosis. i've accepted that. i've accepted that i have it, that it happened to me and more importantly, i have accepted that it's going to be with me till the end.

it's a part of me.

i've accepted it and i have learn to be open with it.

but when it would (and hopefully) break me in many, many, many long years to come, the reaction i just received easily and instantly broke me into pieces.

i was so close. it was right there and then that i could start having an income again.

but she turned the page and read the medical history part. i normally wouldn't get nervous when it comes to that because it wasn't a serious condition and i have no worries for it. i got rid of the worries a lot time ago. but something happened at that moment. then i get the call that says that they couldn't offer me the position anymore because they are afraid of my condition.

afraid of what? it's not serious, and i've done much more physically inclined tasks before and i've never say anything about it.

and why did i put down my condition in the first place, you ask?

because it's me. it's apart of me. it's gonna be with me. i'm never going to escape from it. it's who i am.

i've accepted with how i am.

and now with this happening, it opened up the box of feelings i've learnt to thrown away a long time ago. when i've accepted.

now i'm doubtful of my strengths, my weakness again. i'm worried about my future, how i'm going to be. i'm asking why this happened to me and why did i get this condition? why me? why did i get it? why, why, WHY?

it took me so long to accept and now i'm back to square one, thinking my life is over.

if this is the kind of reaction i'm getting, i might as well have a desk job! oh wait, are you afraid i'm going to break too for sitting too long now?

i'm going to take a few days to throw this feelings back into the box and locked it. i'm determined to not let it be open again or to not let anyone open it and shoving it in my face anymore.

i'm so sick of feeling so depressed over my condition, and the repercussions it's giving me.

but i hope i could start feeling determine again. because this really breaks me.

i can do almost anything you with the straight spine can, you know?


she went on and on and on and on at 11:33 am

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-- Sunday, April 19, 2009

nothing is set in stone yet. but...

I.R feeling excited =]


she went on and on and on and on at 5:08 pm

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-- Monday, April 13, 2009

i think i just got a job... ^.^ abeit not a permanent kind. but beats me sitting at home all day every day. at last me and money are getting back together.

wonderful.


she went on and on and on and on at 9:22 pm

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-- Sunday, March 29, 2009

hey everyone! i've made my 6th video mix. it's Girls Aloud latest singled/video of Untouchable and the remix sound of Bimbo Jones. and i even upload it in HD!

Girls Aloud - UNTOUCHABLE - Fanmade/Bimbo Jones Mix

do make sure to watch it in HD. please comment, thanks!


she went on and on and on and on at 11:11 pm

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